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Dating is the same—we've reached critical mass, and that critical mass is critical on getting their mass touched. Anyway, with the act of dating living solely on a mobile platform, the dating app reigns supreme. Hey, gotta quench that thirst somehow—what's that famous Mother Teresa quote?

Oh yes: "Get it girl, get it get it get it, girl." A dating app that allows people to meet based on their intellectual capacities rather than their looks! But, you know what happens when two smart people meet?

Unfortunately, we're literally engineered to gravitate towards attractive individuals who smell like redwood trees and caramel.

If a phone sex hotline and Tinder drank and had a baby, it would come out as Revealr.

We live in a fluff-free era—people know what they want and aren't afraid to express their opinion in ALL CAPS, followed by a series of passive-aggressive emojis. In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked (lovingly and subjectively) on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist.Sex Messenger is the next generation of this style of communication – but with a much more grown up feel.Sex Messenger is a downloadable program that helps you find local singles in your area who are looking to hook up.You can talk to a person, but can't see what they look like.Even if you have a great conversation with a person, you're not going to want to bone them if they look like Rex from close to getting it right—the one thing they didn't anticipate: charging money kills erections faster than, I dunno, bees?

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