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A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years."A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me.Reprinted with permission from "HEAD TO HEART" by Gila Manolson.Well are family members were very blessed when they found real true love with one another in the past which in those days it was certainly very much easier for them and unfortunately today is a very totally different story altogether. When two hearts collide and a realization becomes apparent to each that life will surely be it's best if we become one under God's L❤️️VE united under the understanding that WE have now become one with Gods' covenant . And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.) So what is love ― real, lasting love? What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time ― which nearly always means after marriage.
" "We're choosing to love him," her mother explained, "because love is a choice." There's no better wisdom Susan's mother could have imparted to her before marriage.You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. "Tell you what: I'll define it, and you raise your hands if you agree. When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David.